Computerhumor #12

DOS BOOT
C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN!
Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
... File not found. Should I fake it?(Y/N)
SENILE.COM found... Out of Memory...
Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?
Hidden DOS secret: Add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
Press any key... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
DOS Tip #2: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon?(Yep/Nope)
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C.?(Y/N)
COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
Press ctrl-alt-del to continue...
The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium Pro.
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
Buy a Pentium 586/200 so you can reboot even faster!
All computers wait at the same speed.
The new, improved 586 chips make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Access denied--Nah nah na nah nah!
C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
<---------- The information went data way ------------>
Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.
RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure!
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
E Pluribus Modem
An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
The name is Baud....., James Baud.
A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny.
BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding
Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.
Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.